by Richard Glazier

In a recent conversation, a wise woman (Julie Stokes!) compared adrenaline in our lives to a river- if it remains within its banks, it is healthy, and indeed necessary. However, once it bursts the banks, it becomes dangerous, debilitating and destructive.

I had not really considered the effect of adrenaline on my life much until recently- sure, the last year or so in our family, and in particular the month of March, had been rather stressful, culminating in reconstructive skull surgery for our youngest daughter, with the resultant pressures on the family, and a court appearance concerning the status of our second daughter. But none of this was personally life-threatening, which in my limited understanding was when the adrenaline would kick in, triggering the “Flight or Fight” mechanism so essential to survival. On top of that, both of these situations had very positive outcomes. But by the end of March, I wasn’t sure whether I was elated or exhausted!  At that point, the imminent arrival of a mission team from Bethel (Redding, USA) did not fill me with excitement!

Sitting in the Prayer Room with the Bethel team on their first day here, listening to the sound of worship, but not really connecting, trying to stir myself into worship mode, I sensed God beginning to press into my numbness. Then He spoke; “Do not substitute adrenaline and coffee for My Holy Spirit”. A strange word, but one that resonated with me at so many levels. And one that I have continued to reflect on.

I realised that over the past year or so, every high-stress, high anxiety situation we had been in (and there have been a few!) had caused adrenaline to kick in; I had gradually become accustomed to living on my reserves of adrenaline, supplemented by strong coffee, instead of leaning into the full resources of God in the Holy Spirit. Sleepless nights and restlessness were now the norm, and I was becoming more irritable, even angry, and extremely anxious. I was continually tired, and finding it more and more difficult to focus on even simple tasks.

I have been forced to reconsider the ease in which we move away from dependence on God’s abundant resources, which lead us into peace and rest, towards dependence on substitutes (in my case, adrenaline and coffee), which ultimately destroy the very peace we are looking for. The journey back may not be an easy one, but the first step is as simple as hearing and heeding the love whispers of our Father, so wonderfully expressed in Isaiah 55:1-3:

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me; listen, that you may live.

I will make an everlasting covenant with you, my faithful love promised to David.”